Barstewards Banned by BBC

BBC,Censorship,Football,Beautiful Game,

John Motson salutes Hull City AFC
'Refreshingly friendly tone and spirit of camaraderie'
Hull City AFC, who hit the headlines for the first time ever due to the
disgracefully insensitive behaviour of their supporters last weekend,
were once again involved in amazing scenes on Saturday. A large
travelling contingent made the trip to Molineux down the M62, M18, M1, M42, M6,
M54 and A449 to watch their side take on Wolves able-bodied,
God-fearing men. Amidst calls for their supporters to be barred from all away
grounds save Millwall's New Den, Hull manager Peter Taylor had pleaded for
calm and an opportunity for cooler heads to prevail. In the end, even
he could not have claimed to have expected to witness what took place on
Saturday at Molineux.

"I've never experienced anything like that in all my years involved in
football," said Wolves captain and great-great-grandfather Alan Hansen.
BBC pundit and professional facial hair expert Mark Lawrenson
continued: "We all expected the Wolves support to have a real go at the Hull
fans but they simply had the wind knocked out of their sails and didn't
know how to react." With the majority of the Hull end full two hours
before kick-off, bemused Wolves supporters arrived to chants of: "Would you
like to take our sisters out for drinks?" and "Please consider coming
to visit Humberside, it's such a lovely place and we'd love to see you,
you can all stay round ours" to the tune of Coldplay's weepy In My
Place.

Shocked onlookers included Frank Skinner — a confessed West Bromwich
Albion supporter — "When I realised there might be BBC television crews
at Molineux I simply couldn't resist coming to prove what a regular chap
I am," said the comic whose other half is swarthy David Baddiel. "The
noise the Hull support made along with the refreshingly friendly tone
and spirit of camaraderie certainly took some of the edge off the sound
kicking I was receiving off the good people of Wolverhampton," dribbled
Baddiel.

Hulls former midfielder Nick "Nicky" Barmby, who was once a good
footballer, said he was not surprised by the reaction of his home town
supporters. "I'm not surprised by the reaction of my home town supporters."
Barmby said. "Hull AFC has the best supporters in the world," he beamed,
showing a good eye for a footballing cliché. "Last week was such an
anomaly and was a result of a Huddersfield Town firm getting past the
stewards at The Kingston Communications Stadium," he concluded, helpfully.

Hull AFC Inter-City Firm Chairwoman Gladys Pipplebottom, hoarse from
singing herself silly in support of her side remarked: "It was important
we put Hull back on the map. It's such a lovely, scenic place with so
much opportunity for young people and a tremendous history of culture
and The Arts," said the octogenarian Mother's Union representative for
Humberside and volunteer fire-fighter. "The people of Hull are some of
the warmest, funniest, most hospitable folk you will ever meet and it was
such a shame a few bad apples ruined the day for the vast majority,"
said Pipplebottom while knitting a stripy jumper for her new
granddaughter. "I have already spoken to the rest of the Hull AFC Inter-City Firm
and we're booked to go to Huddersfield on the train to kick f-c*k out of
the c-n*ts. The way we've planned it we can stop over in Leeds en route
and bash f-c*k out of those f-c*king barstewards too."