Birmingham City Banned by BBC

BBC,Censorship,Football,Beautiful Game,

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“Brucie, Brucie give us a wave

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Last but not Least-Axis of Evil 3

An English football club who currently play in the Football League
Championship. Originally known as Small Heath Alliance , followed by Small
Heath in 1888, are the third and critical part of the Axis of Evil.
Built originally with resources from powder, broken agreements and then
pornography, they were cursed by a chav, pikey or gypsy as Satanic.

The club is nicknamed The Blues and the fans are known as Bluenoses or
noses, an early attempt to merchandise "Birmingham Blues Snuff" in the
1920's. This product and the ritual of snorting the powder left a
deposit over the middle of the face of the supporter.
Bluenoses are renowned for their singing of the song - "Keep Right On
To The End Of The Road". This harks back to the "Black Years", when fans
would march straight past the slagheap St. Andrews ground, to watch a
match from the Birmingham and District League being played in the fields
along Tilton Road.

In 100 years of football as one nose put it 'We won F.All so in May
2005, David Gold chairperson bought the second FA Cup trophy at auction
for £420,000 (£478,400 after fees), to have something for the trophy
cabinet.

After the tragedies at Hillsborough and Valley Parade, and the
subsequent issuing of the Taylor Report, the capacity at St Andrews dropped to
28,235. However, it became clear that it was time to completely
renovate the stadium in order to bring it into the twenty-first century.
Unfortunately though the ground is still in a terrible state, and looks like
a dump. This has led to it being known as "The Sty" by supporters. On
11 May 2006, club captain Kenny Cunningham launched a scathing attack in
the press on manager Steve Bruce and the board, blaming the club's
relegation on a lack of preparation throughout the season and likening the
club to a "stiff corpse" that has "no heartbeat and, more worringly, no
soul".

The Devil's Dictionary Pronouces - NOSE, n. The extreme outpost of the
face. Getius, whose writings antedate the age of humor, calls the nose
the organ of quell. It has been observed that one's nose is never so
happy as when thrust into the affairs of others, from which some
physiologists have drawn the inference that
the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
There's a man with a Nose,
And wherever he goes
The people run from him and shout:
"No cotton have we
For our ears if so be
He blow that interminous snout!"

So the lawyers applied
For injunction. "Denied,"
Said the Judge: "the defendant prefixion,
Whate'er it portend,
Appears to transcend
The bounds of this court's jurisdiction."
Arpad Singiny

Blue Noses - are not having too much fun in the contemporary football
scene, and so some question whether their riffs on stereotypes in life,
and football, is football. They have emerged as the Dumb and Dumber of
Europe's football fairs, swiping at the rarefied air with a provincial
Small Heath hatchet. They describe themselves as buffoons: lazy,
middle-aged, fat, and self-obsessed. Their low-tech football is not
performance football, they agree, but "hooligan improvisation." They grew up
with Marx as their hero - first name Groucho.

The art of Blue Noses can be perceived as acerbic and even political.
Their irreverent photo depicting Sullivan, Gold, also shown in an
alternative venue, was included in a criminal complaint against their
gallerist, Marat Guelman. "Is what we do football satire? all that fidgeting
with our groin while picking with our nose and dribbling, really
football ?" Steve Bruce repeats the question nosing skyward. "Steve has his
own ideas and explanations, however I'm sure we don't have anything to
say constructively. Our position is clear: We try to drink Coca Cola."
"When we came here to Birmingham, we appeared to be a closed and locked
society," he says. "We tried to act like we were from a village." This
was not difficult; small heath is a village.

Blue Noses have risen to the status of insiders in the nascent
contemporary football scene, partly because they are represented by the iconic
Birmingham name after breaking a gentleman's agreement with Villa. Blue
Noses are humorous and everyone can understand this..

"They are media clever and they are funny," said Igor Markin. One of a
handful of serious contemporary art collectors in Moscow, Markin has
bought two Blue Noses works - "The Era of Mercy," a photograph of two
small heath players kissing in a white birch forest, and "Che Guevera," a
photo of an alcoholic, aging revolutionary. "Not everyone gets Blue
Noses, because they make football that is a joke. This is the problem
really. But I see the deepness in the work."
A traditional Blue nose started each day by eating a poor person for
breakfast, served to him by a stable of butlers and attendants. Before
his round of morning football (in which the head of a homeless man is
used for a ball), he spends a half hour in the Blue Nose Family room,
where he and his father reaffirm their ancestral connection to blue-blooded
types, who either owned slaves or coveted them. If you are worried that
noses might try and bring back slavery, we will do absolutely nothing
to allay your fears. A nose recently paid an exorbitant sum for a colon
operation that made his gas smell like daisies. When asked a difficult
question by a reporter, he will silently break wind and ask, "My gosh.
Do you smell daisies?" as a diversion. Its a typical case of the stiff
upper nose as opposed to the stiff upper lip, its a Nose erection.

Unless you're rocking in a straight-back chair,
You scratch your head attempting to relate
To Cyrano's restraint. Who's not aware
These days that plastic surgery's cut-rate?
No need for noses to protuberate
Like perches for the birds that come to sing,
Or blue cucumbers, say, or anything
Like razor-cases or portfolios.
Just whack 'em back to where they're ravishing.
Ah! Whose nose plucks your heartstrings? Cyrano's!


Its all football evolution, the ball remains round, a substantial
percentage of our creative talent will also have credits that might make a
few blue noses sniff? Will they censor them as well? And are those blue
noses really afraid for the kids, as they so often claim? I sometimes
suspect that these contretemps boil down to the urge to deny fresh air
to those we disagree with. Children provide nice cover for that impulse.

Ce geste de désacralisation, délibérément iconoclaste, introduit
parfaitement à la démarche railleuse des Blue Noses, où la mise en rapport
fracassante de diverses références culturelles et politiques avec la
trivialité de l'univers domestique et quotidien, le dispute à l'attaque en
règle des emblèmes du pouvoir et de la modernité artistique sur le ton
de la farce.

The blue nose is the work of generations. The civil rights movement
didn't become mediagenic until the 1960s. Women only gained a modest
degree of physical autonomy in the 70s. Neither of those were slumbering
before that. The paranoid, blue nose, bigoted security state is the norm
for governance. All blue nose male dominated pyramid hierarches tend in
that direction. Brian Clough in heaven would tell you, ask Martin
O'Neill. Its called a safe pair of hands or mums the word in F.All circles.

Meanwhile it is reported that after a failed takeover bid elsewhere
there are moves at the sty, the Prince of darkness found himself
unexpectedly gazumped thanks to unscrupulous property developers and bent estate
agents.

"For the love of all that's Holy, how can they get away with sh.. like
this in this day and age?" raged the Lord of the Flies. Indeed, Satan
had an offer accepted on the larger, more versatile Heaven in September,
only to find that a higher offer had subsequently been accepted from
another emissary of Heaven. In addition, when he read a copy of the
lease, Mephistopheles found that the estate agents had been "creative" in
their decription of the extent of the property and infernal facilities
therein.

"It's just plain wrong. Hell's supposed to be crowded, but it's getting
ridiculous. You try finding a decent-sized property with a lake of fire
at today's prices," lamented the cloven-hooved fallen angel. "I've
pssed a few grand up the wall in solicitors' fees and valuations and now I
have to start again from scratch with the noses but I will be at home
there. They're just scum, the lot of them."